Couldnt sleep again. Eventhough I m physically tired, my mind just couldn't stop me from thinking. Another argument. Down. Cough again. I really don't understand why am I so weak? Well, another good excuse for me to rely on coughy syrup to get asleep. Sigh ~How will i look like tomorrow? oh gosh.

Had a wedding lunch tomorrow. Wedding again ??? I can't recall how many weddings tat I had attended this year. But for me, wedding is getting further and further.

DearSanta,

Chirstmas is one month from now. I think, it will be a very sad and lonely christmas for me again. Even though the Chirstmas here is hot and bright, but it is still a very romantic season. But I think I will be celebrating it in the bank. What to do, much to do yet only 4 of us doin. Work getting more and more, issues popping up one by one. How I wish, I could be at a place, whr I can have a white and warm christmas.

I'm dreaming of a White Chirstmas ..

What will you send to me this year, dear Santa? I had lost so many things ... so much memories. However, I hope you would send me some joy. It had been some time tat I m happy. I wish, you could juz stand at my door step, let me c .. who u r.

Luv, Winnie

Dear Ben,

A message to you.

Happy Birthday to you

Happy Birthday to you

Happy Birthday to Benjamon...

Happy Birthday to you

Specially dedicate to you. Perhaps one day, we'll blow candles together again yeah.

May you birthday is full of joy and

May all your dream come true.

Again... HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!

因为“ 爱你不是两三天 ”，所以我们就开始了这段美丽的感情故事。从不认识直到相爱，都是因为“ 情非得以 ”, 从来不曾后悔过， 跟你一起相处的日子。还记得你“ 第一次 ”牵我的手， 带我过马路， 吻我得时候， 把我们都吓了一跳。美丽的 “ 童话”就悄悄的开始。 你常常告诉我，对我总是有一种 “ 疼你的责任 ”，所以我就被放在你手心上，温柔的呵护着。我想那是我一辈子都不会忘记的幸福。每天听着你送我的CD， 播放着 Tension 的歌曲，A cappella 的节奏， 仿佛就唱着 “ 我们的故事 ”。 你常常告诉我， 不管发生什么是 都不要怕， 因为“I'll be with you” 。“ 你快乐所以我快乐”你的座右铭， 其实我也想告诉你，“我愿意”让你一辈子都快乐。 只不过“旋马”奔得太快， 我太迟了。 这一段 “爱情路 ”， 我们都走的太辛苦，就让你歇会儿， 再做回你的 “无赖”，我想那是你最开心的吧。 “我是真的付出我的爱”已经没有什么 “遗憾 ”。那么， “有没有一首歌会让你想起我 ”？？？

It is now almost 3am. Couldnt sleep. and yet, hav to wake up early to work tomorrow. Worrying: How m i gonna wake up then? Tried so many ways to make myself fallasleep, sudoku, reading, watching tv. Useless, my eyes still open wide. Really have no idea wat to do now. Had good nite sleep for the past few days. I think it is bcoz of the cough medicine effect. Had been sick for the past few days. The drousiness of the cough mixture make me sleep easily. But my cough had completely recover now. How can i stil continue having it? Will i rely on it forever?

Human is always like tat. Relying on everything. When u r comfortable and used to sumthing, u tend to rely on it and thus, u will feel so weird without it. Used to have fon call before going to bed. Gradually, used to it. Will chat will i fallasleep. Be it nonsense or empty, will need sum1 to talk to me to get me sleep. like Lullaby. This is juz a rely. Shall need to move on. Cant rely on the same thing, same person all d while.

Grow up !

Done

Muahahaha ... finally done with these 2 papers. FA was better as compared to RPP. Perhaps, get used to the format. :) Had steamboat. Had not eat anything the whole day. No appetite, nervous kua. keke. Sad news : Have to go back to work tomorrow .. tired. Will have to go in to the bank. Credit review commenced. Dunno wat time only will reach home tomorrow.

PEAK PERIOD COMING

NIGHT MARE STARTS

Astro Beauty Pagent today.
The result was :(
I tot, they would rather a woman with brain nowadays.
But the glory still goes to Noel.
Dun really fancy her since the begining,
the way she talks,
I tot, Ling or Josephine would win.
They are beauty with brains, -- talented.
Well, things always go unexpected.

Went to Sunway Lagoon. KPMG family day.
Was at the wet park almost whole day.
All rides had been twice.
At last went to the dry park.
Din know tat the Pirate Ship had changed.
Damm .. it goes 360. Shouted .. but at last quiet.
Cant change anything. So decided to close my eyes n wait till in stop.
Scarry man !!
It had been years since i last went to amusement park.
Old dy ~

Was at Mamak having drink with my sis n cousin, msg ring tone sounded..
Lai: Oi .. I saw u
Me: Oh, i saw u too
Lai: U look like slim down dy. Stressed?
Me: Haha .. illusion. Having study leave now. Already one month.

Went to Khairul's open house
Khai: Hey, lepas Ben balik terus kurus.
Me: Haha, jampi kut.

Happy = fat
I think i look better when he is not here, at least not like ppppiggie.

Couldnt sleep well

The conversation is still very clear in my mind, even though it was middle of the night.
I m really shock with the comments. 5 yrs ... things hav not been brought up. But now, i really dunno how to face it. I tot, i'd made a significant exist in his life. I tot I have change and lighten up his dark world underneath.
Perhaps misreabling it.

M i juz too strong to every other ppl???? Do i look so tough? I am juz a lil creature. A woman who wants to be at the back of a strong man. I juz wanna sumbody to stand up for me, assist me in making decision, lead me when i m lost. I dun wanna be to take the lead anymore.

Whoosh ..
tired .. exhausted .. confused
Finally willing to let go.
fly high .. kite ~

Devil wears Prada .. 2

Went to KK Ng, a local designer boutique with a fren today.
She was supposed to mend her gown.
Ends up trying a lot of differrent gown.
They are great man !!!
But the prices are ... minimum 980. OMG .. how can i afford
The most expensive that i can afford is only eclipse, BCBG.
Perhaps, that' the difference btween designer and normal.
For a thin n pretty gal, i think any thing will look good on her.
But ppl like me, fat, big hips .. dang ..hahahah
Only designer clothes can hide the bad and enhance the good.
Now you know, why Marc Jacobs, Valentino, Prada always looks gd.
Coz, devils is wearing it .....

Pictures

Organising my pictures in my laptop.
One fren scolded me for not backing up.
Kekeke .. this is just me, Lazy
It seems, our pictures are so limited.
We did not take much pictures together.
Perhaps, he doesnt like to take picture.
But, my memory is very limited.
Lots of things, had been forgotten.
How??? too late now
How i wish he can be with me again
I wanna take a lot a lot of our pics
I think there will never be enaff
Things that we did together ..
Place we visited together ..
The laughter ..
Stupidity ...
I think : I need a Camera !! Haha

CPA first paper

Finally, one paper done.
Had been struggling these few days.
No mood to study but have to.
RPP: 3 hours, 60 MCQ questions, 5 short answer
Fighting against the time.
Whooosh ... finally the digital at KL convention centre shows 12:30

One Paper Down !!!

but .. one more to go
one more week to go
Gambatte gal~

Devil wears Prada

Finally watched this movie.

Waited for so long.

I liked this movie very much.

Perhaps, it is showing the real side of our daily life.

It is really the dream of all gals.

I luv the work Andrea is doing.

Full of challenges, excitement ...

Like it when she describes those ppl as "clkrs"

Cant deny, there are full of "clkrs" outside

But, it is the clkrs that make life so interesting

Change in wardrobe will change your life

However, change in your direction

will lead to a betrayal of your soul.

Prada, Marc Jacobs, Armani, Versace

..............................

Wish list

Shifted recently. Finally can own an apt by myself.
Lost so many things.
Praying hard for my wish.

I wish to have ...
A new camera, to capture all the sweet moments in my life.
Watch, a leather wan coz i m tired of those stainless steel
Aircond ~for my new apt
Gucci tote if i pass my 2 CPA papers
Porchette PM Twin from Mr Santa
Video Cam for my birthday next year
Card with you lipstick kiss ... evil ~
Tokidoki Le Sportsac for my very young heart
but most importantly
to have you be with me for every occasion
but i know, it will not work anymore

Hey god, Do you hear me?
Have you got my wish list?